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SteveOS

SteveOS is, by far, the most advanced operating system ever developed.

Features:

  • Under 10k lines of code
  • No GUI for that streamlined (tm) workflow
  • OS resides entirely in memory
  • Can't run external programs, so you're technically immune to viruses!
  • Keyboard support only

SteveOS has no task scheduler, and can't support more than a single core. To fix this, the asyncronous nature of Javascript was recyled. Methods are called with a callback function passed to them. Why is this method better? It isn't. It's horrible. There's spaghetti code everywhere, and I haven't left the house in 2 weeks. But I'm not quite sure how to write a task scheduler, and I don't feel like buying a book. I figured out task scheduling, but I kept the spaghetti code (:

System requirements:

  • i386 or better processor. I don't mean the i386 architecture. I mean an Intel 386.
  • More than 150KB RAM (Or just use the L1 cache, honestly)
  • 1.44MB floppy drive. NOTE: This doesn't mean it needs 1.44MB of storage.
  • Technically, it only needs 100-200KB. But guess what? I only wrote a driver for 1.44MB 3.5" floppies, so no hard drive for you.
  • A screen. I don't care what.

If you use Windows or GNU/Linux, we're not friends. If you use Mac OS, get off my website. But if you use the superior SteveOS, you will be permanently enlightened.

SteveOS uses 4:3 aspect ratio, as god intended.

SteveOS does not have a web browser, nor does it even have networking support. On SteveOS, you can reach peak productivity without distraction.

SteveOS is the superior operating system.

SteveOS does not waste precious CPU cycles rendering a background image.

SteveOS does not sacrifice efficiency for readibility.

SteveOS is written in assembly and C, the only true programming languages.

SteveOS does not use object-oriented programming. Instead, SteveOS runs purely on memory pointers from the fourth dimension.

SteveOS is the superior operating system.

Only boys need audio support. When a true alpha male's computer is working, he knows it - and so does everyone around him. This is indicated by "KERCHUNK, KERCHUNK, KERCHUNK VRRRRRR" coming directly out of the floppy drive as SteveOS begins to initialize. Of course, this is just another advantage of SteveOS. Why write a floppy driver AND a sound card driver, when you can just get the floppy drive to do both?

SteveOS is the path to salvation.

SteveOS can do your taxes.

SteveOS will get you promoted.

SteveOS can overthrow capitalism.

SteveOS is the key to utopia.

SteveOS is the superior operating system.

SteveOS is the superior operating system.

SteveOS is the superior operating system.

SteveOS on Git